LOL! oh wait you seriously met online?

Ever wonder who uses Internet dating services like Match.com and eHarmony.com? The answer may surprise you.  As a fellow "internet dater" I find myself embarrassed to admit that I use these services.  Honestly with two kids, a career, and did I mention two kids, who has time to actually go out and drum up a date these days?  It makes sense to sign up and let the rulers of the internet gather a nice little collection of elgible bachelors for you to look through.  Efficient, effective, and easy.  However, explaining that to your group of girlfriends without turning 40 shades of red, proves to be not so easy. Man oh man, I sure was relieved to find a little research that supports my ideas. 

     The researchers surveyed 3,345 people in the U.S., of which 1,588 (47.5 %) were men and 1,757 (52.5 %) were women. Ages ranged from 19 to 89 with a mean of 48 years old.  They found that people who are more sociable are more likely to use Internet dating services than are those who are less sociable.

      Indeed, that finding confirms the idea that Internet dating is firmly in the mainstream now. While that may have not been the case 10 years ago, times have changed and using the Internet as a means of finding a prospective partner is no longer thought of as unusual (maybe by those using it...).

     For people who are already sociable, using the Internet as a dating method is just one more tool at their disposal.  But not all sociable folks consider internet dating the shiznit.  These wonderful, internet dating supporting researchers state that if you have high self-esteem and consider romantic relationships to be an important part of your life, you’re more likely to use internet dating. If you have low self-esteem and consider romantic relationships not to be an important part of your life, you’re also more likely to use internet dating.

    Wait, did I just type that?

     Let's let the researchers explain:

 If the success of romantic relationships is the domain of self worth, one may try to increase the prospect of success and avoid failure in romantic relationships. In the context of internet dating, when sociable people consider romantic relationships to be an important domain for self-worth, those with high self-esteem will be more likely than those with low self esteem to use internet dating services.

The reason is that when sociable people consider romantic relationships to be an important domain for self-worth, those with high self-esteem will find it comfortable to present themselves to a multitude of anonymous people, whereas those with low self-esteem will be more likely to experience a higher level of stress just thinking about disclosing and promoting themselves on the internet. Less confident individuals may not want their negative self-views publicized or viewed by others.

To reduce such negative feelings and protect their self-worth, those with low self-esteem will adopt avoidance strategies and distance themselves from internet dating services.

Ok, here is the Amy breakdown,  "High self-esteem peeps feel like they have little to lose by trying internet dating. Low self-esteem peeps have more to lose, since more of their own self-value is tied up in the process. 

The upshot is that internet dating is no longer the domain of the desperate nor those with low self-esteem.  Fellow interent daters stand and rejoice!   According to this research we are NOT  lonely, socially anxious, desperate people!  So all single people, go forth and upload your profiles!

reference: http://psychcentral.com