Jack of all trades, Master of none

  As I get older I have realized that I am a self diagnosed ADHD'r.  I blame this on my munkies.  All of it.  It is known that while pregnant you become forgetful and such.  My hypothesis is that my munkies are so super smart because they took the bunch of brain cells that controlled my ability to pay attention for long periods of time.  Hence the ADHD diagnosis.

Anyway...

I have always been the creative type.  By creative I mean that I am to cheap to buy something that I am pretty sure I can make. I am a bonafide DIY'er and was once hopelessly addicted to home decorating shows.  Don't be mistaken, I am in no way a recovered DIY'er.  Now I am addicted to blogs, YouTube, and Pinterest.  

So in real life I am a Program and Career Services Coordinator.  That's a fancy way of saying I get shit done.  It is my responsibility to help students at a Community College get internships and jobs.  I also request donations from businesses for our programs and facilitate industry relationships with the college.  I am part of a team of 5 and together we create and implement programs for our school.  To date my team has accumulated over $150,000 in material donations for our Corrosion Program.  Personally I think that's pretty awesome.  It's a fun job and I like going out and talking to people.  Plus I get to do cool stuff like travel (like a week in New Orleans), get insider tours of businesses, visit other schools, and be on the radio (which is AWESOME!)

In my first pretend life I am a baker.  I have a baking company, Funky Munky Goodies, and bake yummy things like gourmet cupcakes, cakes, and decorated sugar cookies.   My earliest memory of baking is sitting under the table in my Grangie's kitchen while she made chocolate pies.  I got to lick the pan which to my little 7 year old mind was the equivalent to Heaven!  I developed a seriously, delicious recipe for chocolate chip cookies in High School and baked them for my friends when requested but I will not divulge the reason for which they were being requested.  (It's a it's a top secret and if I tell you I will have to kill you and that's just messy kinda thing)  In my 20's I was lucky enough to live in the same town as Grangie and got to make Christmas candy with her for about 15 years. I miss doing that.  About 3 years ago I started tinkering around with decorating sugar cookies and started selling them to the public.  I was beginning to get pretty good and branched out into gourmet cupcakes, cakes, and some candies.  Recently I have begun to play around with breads but those are so dern temperamental!  You can say that for the last year I have been on hiatus due to the wind being knocked out of my sails but I am back and the breeze has begun to blow again!  I am currently in the process of researching the sustainability of an actual real life bakery.

In my second pretend life I am a photographer.  I am a little funky, as if this is news to you, and like to take pictures of odd things and of people doing odd, normal things.  I am not into the typical Sears-type pose.  

My house is full of pictures of my munkies or odd objects.  I also mess around with painting but am totally abstract.  I just paint what I am feeling and I am usually a total mess.  Often my ideas are laughed at but I trudge along.  Sometimes they totally suck but then there are times when they freaking ROCK!  

A lot of people are afraid to try something new or different.  Just recently I had a friend debate for what seemed like forever over the color of red she painted in her kitchen and living room.  Her color palette was wonderful and I was jealous that she had it going on in her house.  I didn't tell her that and if she is reading that now I am TOTALLY lying. (Shh, I really am jealous)

I have one thousand and one things I want to make or create and there never seems to be enough time in the day or money in my wallet to do it.  In order to make myself feel better about this and to keep me from having to take meds,  I believe that everyone feels this way.  If ever one day I get to create all that I have running around in my head I will have the most awesomest, funkilicious pad in the world!    

WTH?!? Isn't there a manual or something?

We all know that I have been divorced for a year.  If you didn't know, well now you do.  Being hurled into the dating scene with no prior knowledge of the "do's and don'ts" should be a form of punishment for law breakers.  Dating is a rough scene man. 

Today I am sitting here thinking back to this first year and want to share some of my experiences.

I went on a date with a guy who had just broken up with his girlfriend of 3 years. Just broken up as in 3 DAYS PRIOR TO OUR DATE!  When he dropped that bombshell I quietly set down my fork and said, "Well, it was nice meeting you.  Now please take me to my car."  On the way home he text-ed me and asked how I thought the date went.  I replied, "Maybe you should take some time to get over your breakup."  He said, "So you want to go out this weekend?  I want you to meet my kids."  Wow.   One thing that I realized is that there are a lot of dead beat moms out there.  Nearly every guy I dated had an ex who just left her kids and hauled ass.  

Then there was the guy who told me that I would be super hot if I dropped 20lbs.  I strongly suggested that he leave and never returned a phone call.  I told a friend this and she said, "Did you tell him that he would be super fine if he grew another 4 inches?!?"  

I can't forget about the guy who canceled 1 hour before the date because of his crazy ex wife.  We were supposed to go to a concert and I was stoked about it.  So when he called and said that my reply was, "Well can I come by and pick up the tickets?"  Yes, I really did that and I ended up having a great time with a coworker and her husband.  

  

It was amazing to me how many men had no idea what it was they really wanted.  They claimed to want someone they could grow old with but really wanted someone to take care of their kids and who cleaned up good.  

Now I know that for a while I really didn't know what I wanted but I tried not to pretend to want something that I really didn't.  The one that bruised my heart and made me stop dating all together was a really fun guy. He had the sexiest Cajun twang and claimed to want everything I did.  He ended it with "I am not ready for this", which is fine but it was so sudden I was left standing in the parking lot with a look of disbelief and shock. When we stopped seeing one another I decided to stop dating all together.  Sure I had a couple of guys that I texted but there was no more dating.  I took the stand that it was total bullshit and I did what I wanted when I wanted.  Along the way I learned a lot about myself and am still getting to know the girl I used to be.  I think with a little time I just may find that girl and bring some important knowledge to the table.  

Oh no this isn't all... it's that I can't tell you everything at once.  I have to keep you coming back for more.