Jack of all trades, Master of none

  As I get older I have realized that I am a self diagnosed ADHD'r.  I blame this on my munkies.  All of it.  It is known that while pregnant you become forgetful and such.  My hypothesis is that my munkies are so super smart because they took the bunch of brain cells that controlled my ability to pay attention for long periods of time.  Hence the ADHD diagnosis.

Anyway...

I have always been the creative type.  By creative I mean that I am to cheap to buy something that I am pretty sure I can make. I am a bonafide DIY'er and was once hopelessly addicted to home decorating shows.  Don't be mistaken, I am in no way a recovered DIY'er.  Now I am addicted to blogs, YouTube, and Pinterest.  

So in real life I am a Program and Career Services Coordinator.  That's a fancy way of saying I get shit done.  It is my responsibility to help students at a Community College get internships and jobs.  I also request donations from businesses for our programs and facilitate industry relationships with the college.  I am part of a team of 5 and together we create and implement programs for our school.  To date my team has accumulated over $150,000 in material donations for our Corrosion Program.  Personally I think that's pretty awesome.  It's a fun job and I like going out and talking to people.  Plus I get to do cool stuff like travel (like a week in New Orleans), get insider tours of businesses, visit other schools, and be on the radio (which is AWESOME!)

In my first pretend life I am a baker.  I have a baking company, Funky Munky Goodies, and bake yummy things like gourmet cupcakes, cakes, and decorated sugar cookies.   My earliest memory of baking is sitting under the table in my Grangie's kitchen while she made chocolate pies.  I got to lick the pan which to my little 7 year old mind was the equivalent to Heaven!  I developed a seriously, delicious recipe for chocolate chip cookies in High School and baked them for my friends when requested but I will not divulge the reason for which they were being requested.  (It's a it's a top secret and if I tell you I will have to kill you and that's just messy kinda thing)  In my 20's I was lucky enough to live in the same town as Grangie and got to make Christmas candy with her for about 15 years. I miss doing that.  About 3 years ago I started tinkering around with decorating sugar cookies and started selling them to the public.  I was beginning to get pretty good and branched out into gourmet cupcakes, cakes, and some candies.  Recently I have begun to play around with breads but those are so dern temperamental!  You can say that for the last year I have been on hiatus due to the wind being knocked out of my sails but I am back and the breeze has begun to blow again!  I am currently in the process of researching the sustainability of an actual real life bakery.

In my second pretend life I am a photographer.  I am a little funky, as if this is news to you, and like to take pictures of odd things and of people doing odd, normal things.  I am not into the typical Sears-type pose.  

My house is full of pictures of my munkies or odd objects.  I also mess around with painting but am totally abstract.  I just paint what I am feeling and I am usually a total mess.  Often my ideas are laughed at but I trudge along.  Sometimes they totally suck but then there are times when they freaking ROCK!  

A lot of people are afraid to try something new or different.  Just recently I had a friend debate for what seemed like forever over the color of red she painted in her kitchen and living room.  Her color palette was wonderful and I was jealous that she had it going on in her house.  I didn't tell her that and if she is reading that now I am TOTALLY lying. (Shh, I really am jealous)

I have one thousand and one things I want to make or create and there never seems to be enough time in the day or money in my wallet to do it.  In order to make myself feel better about this and to keep me from having to take meds,  I believe that everyone feels this way.  If ever one day I get to create all that I have running around in my head I will have the most awesomest, funkilicious pad in the world!    

WTH?!? Isn't there a manual or something?

We all know that I have been divorced for a year.  If you didn't know, well now you do.  Being hurled into the dating scene with no prior knowledge of the "do's and don'ts" should be a form of punishment for law breakers.  Dating is a rough scene man. 

Today I am sitting here thinking back to this first year and want to share some of my experiences.

I went on a date with a guy who had just broken up with his girlfriend of 3 years. Just broken up as in 3 DAYS PRIOR TO OUR DATE!  When he dropped that bombshell I quietly set down my fork and said, "Well, it was nice meeting you.  Now please take me to my car."  On the way home he text-ed me and asked how I thought the date went.  I replied, "Maybe you should take some time to get over your breakup."  He said, "So you want to go out this weekend?  I want you to meet my kids."  Wow.   One thing that I realized is that there are a lot of dead beat moms out there.  Nearly every guy I dated had an ex who just left her kids and hauled ass.  

Then there was the guy who told me that I would be super hot if I dropped 20lbs.  I strongly suggested that he leave and never returned a phone call.  I told a friend this and she said, "Did you tell him that he would be super fine if he grew another 4 inches?!?"  

I can't forget about the guy who canceled 1 hour before the date because of his crazy ex wife.  We were supposed to go to a concert and I was stoked about it.  So when he called and said that my reply was, "Well can I come by and pick up the tickets?"  Yes, I really did that and I ended up having a great time with a coworker and her husband.  

  

It was amazing to me how many men had no idea what it was they really wanted.  They claimed to want someone they could grow old with but really wanted someone to take care of their kids and who cleaned up good.  

Now I know that for a while I really didn't know what I wanted but I tried not to pretend to want something that I really didn't.  The one that bruised my heart and made me stop dating all together was a really fun guy. He had the sexiest Cajun twang and claimed to want everything I did.  He ended it with "I am not ready for this", which is fine but it was so sudden I was left standing in the parking lot with a look of disbelief and shock. When we stopped seeing one another I decided to stop dating all together.  Sure I had a couple of guys that I texted but there was no more dating.  I took the stand that it was total bullshit and I did what I wanted when I wanted.  Along the way I learned a lot about myself and am still getting to know the girl I used to be.  I think with a little time I just may find that girl and bring some important knowledge to the table.  

Oh no this isn't all... it's that I can't tell you everything at once.  I have to keep you coming back for more.  

 

I'm just saying...

      Dating in your 30s is tough business.  It seems that guys revert back to that horny teenage mind set no matter how old.  When it says on my profile that I am not interested in booty calls, sending a message that says, "You are hot.  Wanna meet up at Holiday Inn?" isn't going to convince me otherwise.  I mean come on now, I am an attractive girl and if all I wanted was a night of bumping uglies I could go down to the bar. 

     I have had some real doozies and slowly I will share with you, I mean I gotta keep you coming back.  Right?  Today I am remembering a guy I was dating and we were actually on date number 3.  I took him to a work thing and went out with 2 other couples afterwards.  We had a pleasant evening and I thought that maybe this could roll into something good. 

Until...

we were relaxing at my house one Sunday afternoon and started talking about exercise and about how much I HATE IT.  He looked at me and said, "You know, you would look really hot if you lost 20 lbs." 

 .....

    

 Have you had enough time to digest this? Need a little more time?

.....

    

Yes he actually said that.  Now though I wanted to grab my gun and shoot his kneecaps off I simply said, "I really need to get over to Teresa's and help her paint."  Did I really need to help Teresa?  Nope.  I am not even sure she was in town that weekend....  

Yes another one bit the dust.

Dating does suck and when you are successful, professional, and have morals it rates at  around 10 on the suckage meter.  I am lucky enough to have a friend who is sharing the dating experience with me and you should check out her blog

http://30sdatinglife.blogspot.com/

New Year's Resolutions.... YEAH RIGHT!

I will stop over eating. I will stop smoking.  I will be more efficient. I will blah, blah, blah.  How many of us make these resolutions only to break them a week later?  I promised myself that I would never, ever make another resolution because I only let myself down when I fail.  So...

Thanks to my Prom Queen friend, I still can't believe I am friends with a former homecoming queen, I am now working out during my lunch instead of enjoying a nice, delicious, calorie filled pulled pork wrap.  Have I gained the dreaded holiday weight?  Yes.  Do I hate the way I look? Yes.  Am I going to gripe and complain about working out. Oh hell yes.

Friends... the Peanut Butter to my chocolate



     People come and go in our lives that we all know.  I know that I talk to at least 100 people a day on some days and according to my Facebook friend list I have 157 close acquaintances.  In that 157 are some REALLY close friends and some friends I want to keep on simply because I am nosey.  Don't judge me, you know we all do it. 

Now these three are my BFF's from jr high and high school.  We have been into some trouble but a lot of fun and I can count on them to give it to me straight and not BS about it.  They never hesitates to ask, "WTF Amy?!  Stop overthinking!" or "You should really think about it before acting."   and don't forget "Amy just go with it damnit!" (you girls know who says what ;))







Over this past year I have had to learn how to be me again and as silly as it sounds I couldn't have done it alone.  I needed and continue to need my BFF's there to remind me who I am and to call me out when I am acting like an ass.  Naturally I have picked some pretty important people to pay homage to in this ranting.  Just because I chose these people doesn't mean that others have not offered me advice or guidance in my life.  These people made the most wanted list because they love me no matter how big of an ass I am being.  As you can see I have known some of these ladies since dirt was new and others have meandered into my life via being the new girl (and girlfriend) at a company party  and "WTF" meetings at work.

 A good giggle fit can cure what ails a broken heart and these wonderful ladies are always there to provide me with medicine.  As I start my new life and everything is so brand new they are here to hold my hand and gently guide me (drag my ass) to the ultimate goal of happiness.  All five of these ladies tell me I think to much, over analyze..blah, blah, blah (which I don't really think is a bad thing) and that I only have one life.  That I should just let go and love with my whole heart.  The strange thing is that I often finding myself telling a few of them the exact same thing.  Funny how that happens huh.

     I am sure that I am not the only one in the world that has wonderful friends and I am sure that there are a lot of you that have had to lean on your friends from time to time.  It is wonderful to know that no matter what happens these girls will be there to help me no matter what. I am forever grateful for these ladies.